A day of recovery

This morning Katlyn, Robb, Brandon and I had arranged to attend a sales presentation put on by the resort. We all had to pretend we were 25 years old and made >$55,000 a year to qualify. In return we would get $50 in Resort credits and Dad would get a 1,000 extra vacation points each. We made our way to the sales center bright and early. After filling out the necessary paperwork we met with salespeople who in turn made their sales pitch and heard us answer with "no. no. no" over and over again. Katlyn and Robb made up their own version of reality. Robb had just finished med school and was beginning his residency. He had $200K in Student loan debt and Katlyn was beginning her first year of dental school. They played them like a fiddle. Brandon just seemed to be sleeping through his whole presentation having chaperoned Dad's shenanigans all night long. After and hour and a half of trying, they gave up and gave us our credit and let us on our way.

We headed to the pool to lay out for a while and had lunch at the restaurant here at the resort. We took our places back in our lounge chairs, read and soaked up the rays. Dad was a hit (I guess you could say) around the resort. Everyone seems to know his name now, or perhaps they just recognize his stumbling. His foot is very sore and he is unsure why. Security told him "You're the man". Dad maintains he said this in a proud and excited voice. I believe it to be accusatory, like "You're the one who pulled me out of my effing nap to pull out of the pool. You were naked for god's sake". After crisping ourselves we headed in to get changed. Lisa, Mom and I had heard that the resort was going to be holding frog races tonight and left our rooms in a frenzy, ready to see some frogs. We made our way out poolside where the employees had drawn a circle in chalk on the pool deck. Each frog was tied with a ribbon with a country's flag attached. Each frog was then auctioned off. A third of the proceeds were donated to the Nadi children's hospital. Mom bid on the American frog (Carl Lewis) but was sadly outbid by a group of twentysomethings from LA.




About to begin, the frogs are under that box...



The races were to take place in 2 heats with the top three frogs to exit the circle moving on to the final round. For the first heat, Charlie took the six frogs to the center of the circle and let them go. None of the frogs did a thing. They just sat there. Finally three made it out of the circle and the next heat began. History repeated itself with the second heat and finals, with the frogs sitting for about a minute until one of them took off jumping. It was quite gimmicky and I can imagine the employees sitting around and laughing at the crazy tourists but it was fun nonetheless.



This may or may not be five minutes later...still sitting.

Mom had decided to treat us all to dinner at the port tonight so we packed up the "limo" and headed off. We decided to eat at the Hard Rock Cafe. Everyone was pretty excited to have what we expected to be close to American food. The food was excellent but the service is another story. I know to expect it to be different than the US. We are spoiled by the food service industry in the States. But in Fiji it is another story. Uncle George's meal was completely forgotten, all of our food came out cold and refills were the things of dreams. They give a whole new meaning to the term "Fiji time". Everyone enjoyed their meals though (with the exception of Uncle George who still maintains that he wasn't hungry) and we headed to bed with our bellies full of food and our heads full of good 'ole American Rock and Roll.



WE ARE AMERICAN




YOU STILL OWE US A CHEESEBURGER, SUCKAS!!! I'LL REMEMBER THIS CLAPTON!


Before heading to bed we stayed up to reminisce about Jeff's crazy adventure some more with the help of Bman's winning narrative, now with charades. I have to admit that he does a wicked "drunk Jeff Maillo" impression. In the midst of all this fun, who should call on the telephone but Sam, the New Zealand kid. He and his friends wanted to invite Dad to continue the fun they began the night before. Dad smartly told him that he was already in bed for the night but promised to catch up with them the next day. Who knows the escapades they got into without Dad but one can only expect that nothing will top a midnight skinny dip with one Jeff Maillo. Katlyn sang us all to sleep with a rousing chorus of "Maggie" by Rod Stewart; a lulaby of sorts...

Maggie...I've got somethin to say to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ATTN: Content in today's blog is rated PG-13 for public intoxication and overall stupidity.

The morning started out like most others. Relaxing and blogging (in my case). Dad, Katlyn, Robb, Grandma and Grandpa walked down to a little coffee shop not far from the resort. When Mom and I got up we headed to the coffee shop with Brandon. We had delicious blueberry muffins and Fiji water. Yes, the same Fiji water that costs $4 a bottle in the us is $1.25 here.

Today we had decided to head into Nadi (pronounced Nandhi) to check out the town and show everyone else the market we had visited the day before. All of us (sans Bman and Lindsay) piled into the "limo" and took off. We parked the limo and began roaming the streets. Quite a sight, 10 American tourists taking up the sidewalk. So we decided to split up. Uncle George, Lisa and Alyssa headed one way and the rest of us headed toward a temple. While passing a shop Grandpa found a tank top he really liked, so we stepped in the shop. As we were entering a guy called out to Robb. Robb stayed behind despite my crazy "watch out and don't wander off alone in a foreign country" eyes and started talking to the guy. The dude explained that the shop we were perusing was an Indian shop, not a Fijian. There is a huge Indian population in Fiji and there are visible tensions between the races, but for the most part they live cohesively. So this man told us that he would show us to his shop. Dad took off with him with all of us in tow and he headed toward his shop. He took us inside and headed toward the back. I noticed the Kava bowl and my mind flashed to the tourism book I had just been reading in the car. Dad and Robb quickly put there shoes back on and we high tailed it out of there. I had been warned that people would attempt to have us drink kava with them, only to expect payment later.

Downtown Nadi

With that scam behind us, we headed to the Nadi handicraft market. It consisted of about 25 stalls with locals selling their wares inside. Most of them looked exactly the same, and here the racial tensions seemed apparent as well, with all of the Indian vendors setting up shop next to each other and the Fijians in a different section. After browsing and lightening our purses we headed toward the Sri Siva Subramaniya Temple toward the end of downtown Nadi where Uncle George, Lisa and Alyssa met us.

The handicraft Market

The temple is said to be the largest Hindu temple in the Southern Hemisphere. It is the most colorful building you have ever seen and is the biggest landmark in Nadi. We walked up to the temple, removed our shoes and headed to the kiosk to pay our entrance fee. We began to explore the temple. There were several smaller shrines with one larger shrine in the middle. Every ceiling was covered with elaborate and colorful paintings. They were truly beautiful. Despite being warned not to take pictures inside the temple, the management didn't realize that this was Jeffrey Maillo they were dealing with. For the 496th time, Jeffrey was caught breaking the rules and was chastised by the docent.

The back of the temple

In front of the temple

The ceiling

After the verbal lashing directed at Dad, the docent offered to give us a tour of the temple. He took us to each shrine explaining who the shrine was worshipping and the different forms of prayer that take place at each shrine. He even showed us the machine that calls everyone to prayer time that was donated by a local man from Nadi. After a few pictures, we took off in search of food. On a detour from food, we took a stroll through the local market showing Grandma and Grandpa the colorful and fragrant produce. Dad ate a small pepper on a dare and it burned his mouth off. You'd think that it would affect his speech but no such luck.

The gang outside of the market

We headed to a coffee shop called Bulaccino that we had heard good things about. There, we had a delicious lunch and Alyssa and I even had the special treat of a PINK CUPCAKE. It was no Sprinkles or Magnolia...but it'll do. We hobbled our way back to the car (after a stop at the supermarket to restock our TimTams [a delicious Aussie cookie] for the room) and headed back to the resort.

We returned around 4pm, changed quickly and headed out to the pool. We spent the rest of the time relaxing, reading and enjoying the sunset. We were serenaded and even played a round of "Name That Tune". We ordered drinks from Va, our favorite bartender and when dad asked her to surprise him she brought him a "Jeff's Special"...uh oh. When the sun was down we headed back to our rooms to freshen up then came back out for Happy Hour, or in Dad's case to watch "Beverly Hills Chihuahua", the outdoor movie for the night.

Happy Hour is when things started to get a little crazy. I was in the midst of one of the worst allergy attacks of my life, so I must admit that my recollections of the night are fairly limited. Dad and Uncle George started drinking Rum and Cokes and it all went downhill from there. Brandon and I attempted to drink along with them but fell by the wayside. Meanwhile, at the table next to us a group of about 6 kids from New Zealand were drinking and...get this...playing Acoustic guitar. Even in Fiji you can't escape it. You've seen the guy before, probably at a bonfire in Santa Cruz, who whips out his acoustic guitar and in between sips of Keystone Light he plays the three or four songs he knows....you've seen that guy, you know that guy, you may even be that guy...that guy.

It's kind of dark but you can see Jeff on the right, talking to that guy with the guitar

So a few Rum & Cokes later and the next thing I know, Jeffrey is over talking to these kids. They're asking what his favorite music is and he says with a pondering swagger "umm probably Eric Clapton" when one of the girls says [NZ accent] "OH PLAY THAT 'LOLA' SONG!!!"

...

...

yep, that guy. I mean Cheese & Rice the song is called "Layla", it's in commercials and movies for god's sake. THE TITLE OF THE FRIGGIN SONG IS IN THE LYRICS!! After that snafu, Dad requests "Hotel California" and they couldn't even finish the first verse...c'mon Acoustic guitar guy! Change my mind! Don't be THAT GUY! After they headed off to the bar to take a shot I headed to bed to try and regain my nasal passages. So....for the rest of the story I have to take the word of the only survivor and witness....Bman.

It's like watching a car crash.

According to the Bman one shot followed another until Jeffrey was headed into a drunken oblivion. Every shot imaginable: vodka, tequila, rum...you name it, they drank it. So now at this point Jeff is pretty much falling over drunk. He attempts to buy a whole bottle of alcohol when Va, our favorite bartender, proceeds to cut him off. It was a $170 bottle of alcohol since they would charge him by "the nip". The kiwis are still hanging in there and are still smartly encouraging Jeff to drink some more. Va, still was passing drinks his way so the trip to Hangoverville continued. Jeffrey gave them a crash course on "American truck driver" vernacular and had them all saying things that made children and elderly women run for cover. At this point, Sam (one of the Kiwis who has a Rod Stewart like platinum blond haircut) suggests a skinny dipping fest;. Never the one to let opportunity pass, Jeff proceeds to remove his clothing and head into the pool. Literally. He misses a step and the ledge and falls into about a foot of water. See, the pool kind of gradually slopes down from the sidewalk, like the beach would. Before Bman could throw the life preserver, Security showed up and asked them to put their clothes back on and to please leave. Jeff proceeds to put his bathing suit on backwards, therefore necessitating the removal of said bathing suit just to right it.

Dad with Rod Stewart!! I mean...Sam.

Now is the part where my memory comes back in. I wake up to a pounding at the sliding glass door and St. Bman is holding my dad up with empty bottle in hand, cigarette dangling precariously from his lip. He walks him into the house and attempts to get him to bed. But, no no dear reader. Jeff will not go to bed. He wants to "stay up and party" (actual quote). The problem is now in Mom's hands as St Bman has gone home probably to volunteer with sick children or help old ladies cross the street. Mom, having experience with this creature of the drink, came out mid-sleep and tried to get him to get into bed. She entered the room, yelling "Why is your body wet, but not your shorts? GET INTO BED". But the beast could not be reasoned with. He wandered out the bedroom sliding door and onto the grass between the bungalows where he stumbled around for a few seconds and then fell over his own feet. He claims a ditch is responsible but the jury is still out. She finally reeled him back into bed and retired back to her own room. Several seconds later, Katlyn and Robb (who are sleeping on the Murphy bed in the living room) paralyzed with fear, hear the shuffle of his zombie feet and feign sleep. Yet again, Brenda must come to the rescue and with the experience of Steve Irwin must wrestle this unruly creature back to whence it came. With baited breath the inhabitants of F104 slowly drifted back into a restful slumber.

I am writing this the morning after and this morning Jeffrey is a sight. I'm fairly sure he is still intoxicated and he is limping around the resort. He has scrapes on both of his knees and has hurt his right foot. Did he party too hard? You be the judge...because Jeffrey is paying the price.

The Real Fiji

The day started out by the pool. Everyone relaxed and swam (I know...crazy right?) We had lunch by the pool in the restaurant. At about 2 Dad came in to take a phone call from Asinate about that night. See, Dad had emailed someone from the resort prior to us coming about making sure that our rooms had ocean views. Being Jeff Maillo, he asked the woman, Asinate, if there was anything from the US we might be able to bring her that perhaps is difficult to get over here. Asinate replied that she ran a small store here and asked us to bring cartons of Benson & Hedges cigarettes and some booze. So we scoured the bay area for the cigarettes and ended up buying more and the booze in duty free at the airport. On our first day here, Asinate came by to pick them up and in return invited us to her village to have dinner. There, now that we are all caught up we're back to dad being on the phone with her. Asinate called and we decided to meet at Jack's, a small handicraft shop in the downtown at 6:30. Then we would follow her to her village.

We were all a little nervous about heading to her village. We didn't really know what to expect, what to wear or how to act. Everything in our tour books regarding village visits seemed to be regarding toursity type village visits. Would Asinate really live in a "village"? Or is that just what they call neighborhood here? What should we bring? How should we dress? After consulting with a guy here Dad and Uncle George decided that we would pick up some Kava root to bring with us. So Dad, Uncle George, Brandon, Katlyn, Robb and I headed into Nadi to visit the market.

After parking the "limo" and navigating the parking meters here we headed off in the direction of the market. The market reminded me a lot of the Pisac market in Peru. There were tons of different stalls with independent vendors selling their goods. We made our way to the back of the market, looking for a large bald guy that we had been advised to visit for good Kava. We stopped by the fish market to see what they had to offer. We finally spotted our guy and bought a kilo of Kava.

Look at all that kava! The root is then ground down and strained with water.

We made our way back to the resort and got ready to go to Asinate's. We headed to Jack's and waited. Asinate was on Fiji time and showed up about 10 minutes late. We followed her taxi out past town and through the dark. We finally past a sign that said "Korovuto Village" and we pulled in. Asinate's village is basically a collection of small houses. She welcomed us onto the porch where we removed our shoes and sat on a mat and she introduced us to her husband Charlie. Charlie then began preparing the Kava. After preparing the Kava and passing the bowl around we took a walk around the village. There were several little kids hanging out with us and one that I especially started hanging out with. We bonded over our mutual love of Spiderman and we hopped around the village on one foot, seeing who could last the longest. Asinate showed us her church and told us about everyone who lives in the village. There are 3 different clans who live the village together, with about 200 people. She introduced us to her mother and father and then we made our way back to her house. We sat outside drinking some more kava and she introduced us to her cousin, Junior. Junior was a lively guy who was very funny. He told us about living in Fiji, how he wants to travel around but has never left Fiji and about how what we were to experience tonight was the real Fiji.

Asinate's family is Methodist and attend this church right in her village.

Meeting Asinate's Parents.

Grandpa with his bestie, Junior.

Asinate introduced us to her sister and her niece who helped make all the food for dinner. Then she invited us inside. The girls went inside while the boys stayed out to drink some more Kava. Inside, Asinate had prepared a feast and it was spread out on a beautiful blanket on the ground. We took our seats around the blanket and Asinate's sister began telling us what everything was. She had made fresh fried fish, boiled fish with coconut milk, taro and cassava root, chicken roasted in a lovo, chicken chop suey, corned beef wrapped in taro leaves fresh fruit, crabs in a half shell and a coconut slaw. We all filled our plates, trying new things (even Robb!) and filling ourselves. She had even set up a special table for Grandma and Grandpa. They served us fresh squeezed lemon juice. Throughout dinner we chatted about the food, or in the case of Asinate's niece, about Hannah Montana and the Disney Channel. They only get it every Sunday.

The spread!

Ready to eat with Asinate

The whole gang. Asinate's sister is in the gold dress.

Push Pops!

After we had eaten the boys came in and pigged out. The food was delicious and truly authentic. After dinner we headed out onto the porch for some more kava and just talking to each other. Junior told us about how he was going to be a movie star and be "the new Drew Carey show". He said he would come to America, to Hollywood and Grandpa would have to drive him around in a limo while he sipped champagne in the back. They taught us about their traditions. Women should cover their shoulders and knees when in the village. The men stay living in the village with their families but the women move with their husbands. The kids can be given small amounts of kava but aren't allowed to drink Kava officially until they are 16. The men and women are buried in the cemetery separately. After many more rounds of "low tide" (only filled half way) Kava they sang their farewell song, Isa Lei, to us. After hugging everyone and thanking them for everything we piled back in the van and headed home. It was such a special experience that none of us will ever forget.

A relaxing Fiji Day

We all slept soundly after returning from the cruise. A couple of us still felt like we were on the boat, rockin and rollin but everyone adjusted back to land just fine. Dad got up bright and early and walked down to a market that we hadn't visited before. He hit the mother load. He came back with rolls and bread galore, pastrami and he even found some chorizo. Holla!


you can spy the swim up bar in the distance

We headed out to the pool today and staked our spots. Alyssa spent the morning with the kids club here at the resort and they fed fish and swam together. I spent my day camped out in the partial shade with my book. I'm just loving this book so its been really hard to tear me away from it (yea I know...not so hard to believe but still).We all worked on our tans, swam a bit and visited the swim up bar quite a few times throughout the day. We think the bartender at the swim up bar, Va, is pretty taken with Dad. She always asks where he is.


the kiddy pool...where Alyssa tried to pull my bathing suit bottoms off....cool.

We had lunch at the restaurant here on the resort property. The food was pretty good. Its mostly touristy food that they know Americans and Australians will buy but that works just fine for me. We stayed out there until I was sure that my skin was gonna burn off. Then we headed inside to freshen up before dinner, or in me and dad's case head to the computer room to catch up with the blog.


dinner on the patio

After our hard work at the keyboard (right...) we headed over to grandma's for cocktails. We sat on her back patio and watched the Fiji sunset. It really was beautiful. Every night around 6 pm, a guy runs around and lights all of the torches along the beach and around the resort. Then a group of Fijian men walk around with a guitar serenading all of the guests. It really is a great wait to end everyday.


The whole clan

After the serenade we started BBQing. There are several communal BBqs around the resort so we had decided that we would BBQ a feast for all of us. We BBQed the meat we had picked up at the meat market the previous day and the fish we bought at the wharf. We had corn, baked potatoes, rice, rolls and the chorizo. It was quite a feast and exceptionally delicious. Grandma still believes that no one ate better than us in the entire resort. We meandered back to our respective places and got ready for bed. Personally, my book was calling to me yet again so I spent a couple of hours reading. A perfect ending to a relaxing Fijian day!

Bula!

Day 3: Isa Lei Yasawa Islands

Our last day started with another great breakfast from the crew. I was feeling a little under the weather but nothing serious. We spent the morning cruising to our next island stop. We took a group photo with 75.3 billion cameras belonging to all of the passengers. We were set to visit the other side of the first island we went to. Once we arrived we tendered out to a deserted beach. We laid out our sunbathing mats and headed into the water. Robb of course was distracted with the plethora of hermit crabs on the beach. We headed out into the water and basically didn't stop. It was so shallow; it never reached past our waists. Uncle George and Lisa headed out to another snorkeling trip with some of the other passengers.



Breakfast with Oni...our favorite deckhand!

Who wouldn't want to spend the day here?!

We enjoyed the warm water for a while. The water seems to be extra salty here and it makes you a little more buoyant. Grandma, Grandpa, Dad, Mom, Katlyn, Robb and I decided to take a walk down the beach. We headed down away from everyone and after about 15 minutes of walking we came across a little village. Dad struck up a conversation with two women who were weaving a new mat out of palm for their home. He asked if it would be okay to check out their village and they invited us in. This was so different from the village we visited. It was more apparent of their everyday life. They were cooking some yams and everyone who passed welcomed us with a "Bula". Most of the houses were aluminum siding with some cinder block. There weren't many doors or windows, but when I glanced inside I would see the occasional TV or stereo. They must have been run off of generators because we didn't notice any power and they were cooking with fire. After walking around the village we decided to return to the beach. We walked back just as the snorkeling group returned. We had 10 more minutes to enjoy the water and then it was time to tender back to the boat.

The village

cooking yams


Thurston Howell and his wife...where's the professor?

We returned to the boat, showered and finished packing up our stuff. We relaxed on deck before having lunch (delicious as usual). We enjoyed our last lunch on the boat and cruised for the next couple of hours. While we traveled the crew was constantly fishing off the back of the boat. The crew caught one on our way in, only to lose it right before getting it in the boat. bummer. Before leaving, the crew came around to thank all of us and shake our hands. They finished by singing the farewell song, "Isa Lei".

So shallow!




Who let this blind guy wander off without supervision? He's obviously injured!

We docked, and boarded the boat to head back to the lounge. We returned and thankfully (?) the "limo" was still there in one piece. Uncle George fired her up (after the third time) and we all piled in and headed off. Grandma had said that she wanted to buy some fish while we were there so we stopped at a small meat market. We bought steaks (different from what you would get at home...) and chicken but were told that we should head to the dock for fish.

We headed to the wharf and were met by local fisherman with today's catch strung up and displayed in front of them. There were eels and pufferfish there next to red snapper and various other fish. Uncle George ended up buying a couple of snapper and wrapping it in a plastic bag mom had and we were off. Nothing like fresh fish poorly wrapped in an outdated van for an hour long drive home. yum.

With our fish laying on cardboard next to our raw meat we headed home. But when we passed the ultimate temptation on the way home, we had to stop: McDonalds. Yes, dear reader we succumbed to our American Capitalist pig roots. And it was EFFING DELICIOUS. It tasted more similar to the McD's at home than the one we had in Peru. The drive thru sign says "Bula" and when you leave it says "Vinaka" (thank you). Dad even spotted some fruit bats the size of pigeons in the parking lot.

I knew we'd run into someone here!

We headed home, and made it back to the resort safely. As we were unloading everything, Grandpa dropped the fish in the parking lot of the resort. More flavoring I guess. We unpacked from our wonderful cruise and hit the hay. It is nice to be back at the resort but the cruise is sure to be one of the highlights of the trip :)

why are we pointing up? my guess is as good as yours...but we do as we're told.

Day 2: Michael Phelps: The Great Uniter.

Sleeping on the ship was surprisingly restful. Despite the loud noises that went on all night I genuinely had my most restful sleep of the trip. We woke up to a delicious breakfast of french toast, omelettes and...spaghetti? Apparently it's a New Zealand thing. Grandpa also tried to make people leave the table they were sitting at by telling people "This is my family's table"....oh Grandpa. There were no assigned tables but we all know Grandpa is possessive. After breakfast we prepared our stuff to head to the island for the day. This island has a beach that is privately owned by Blue Lagoon Cruises, so it was a private beach just for us. It is located just across from Turtle Island which is where they filmed "The Blue Lagoon", the Brooke Shields movie. Since getting on the boat we were treated to the most beautiful water we had seen; the kind of water you picture when you imagine Fiji. See, the water by our resort is sort of murky because it was built on a man made beach. But the water out here at the islands was crystal clear. You could see straight to the bottom with varying degrees of blue depending on what is on the bottom of the ocean, sand or coral.

our view for most of the day.

We made our way ashore via tender and scoped out a spot for the day. Luckily, Early riser McGee (aka Uncle George) had scoped out prime real estate for us. We had several beach chairs on the beach with a hammock strung between 2 palm trees. Paradise. We immediately headed to the water. They called for a glass bottom boat tour and we all headed that way. Since Brandon's hand is broken it was one of his only opportunities to check out the undersea life. After heading out pretty far we floated above some amazing coral and were able to see some spectacular sea life. Returning to shore, Katlyn and Alyssa grabbed 2 spy boards, large skim boards with glass bottoms and started exploring the shore, while dad and I grabbed a kayak and headed out. Uncle George headed out with the snorkel group and everyone else soaked up the rays on the beach. After we returned, Dad took grandma for a ride in the kayak and I took a turn on a spy board. I headed out to the snorkeling area with Robb. I positioned my spy board above an anemone where a larger clown fish was swimming with its two babies. MARLIN AND NEMO!!!!! Then Robb told me that some of the fish were nibbling on him (it was right after feeding time) so i decided to head out of the water.

All of us ROCKIN THE SPY BOARDS!

After walking around the island a bit, reading in my hammock and sunbathing we headed down the beach for the BBQ lunch. The had chicken, beef , some fish, delicious potato salad and a wonderful pineapple coleslaw. We ate on the beach until we were bursting and laid around until about 3pm. We headed back to the boat via tender to shower and freshen up for our Lovo dinner planned back on the island. A Lovo is a traditional Fiji dinner. The meat is cooked in the sand, much like a luau. The hole is dug and rocks are lined on top. The meat is wrapped in palm and banana leaves and placed on top of the rocks. The whole thing is covered with sand and a few hours later....voila! food.

Lovo Pit...delish

After getting changed and chatting with out favorite deckhand, Oni we tendered back to the island for dinner. We started with cocktails and appetizers on the beach. We headed to watch them uncover the lovo pit and then it was time to eat. We had roasted pork leg, chicken and lamb. We were able to try some local favorites: Cassava and Taro root. Both tasted exactly like you would expect a root to taste. We also had a fijian version of ceviche but I have to be honest I stayed away from it.

Buffet style...

As we were in line for dessert there were a group of New Zealanders behind us. Keep in mind that we were the only Americans on the ship. The woman behind us turned to her friend and said "I hear that in America they have fresh whipping cream with every dessert!". Good ole' USA...your selling point is fresh whipping cream. Hell YEA!

Robb is still in detox from lack of Starbucks and Brandon has been attacked by a giant octopus.

After dinner the crew played music and sang. Joe, the cruise director stood up and told us that it was international night and that every country would have to give a little presentation. Now, he had mentioned this before but i thought it was a friggin joke!?! I mean geez...you should be entertaining me! I shouldn't have to work on my vacay dammit! So we quickly put our heads together (meaning everyone turned and asked me what I was gonna do) and I came up blank. I mean think about it...what kind of special songs or chants does America have? I though of singing "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue" by Tobey Keith but didn't really think that would make us any friends on the ship. Finally our three minutes were up. Australia was up first and they sang some weird ass song that sounded like a song you would sing in a pub at like 3am. Then the Canadians (the 2 of them on the ship) played the "We're on our honeymoon" card so they got out of it. New Zealand sang another effing song and then it was our turn. So I stood up, faced everyone at the tables and said:

"As the representative for America we just have 2 things to say...Michael Phelps and Barack Obama"

and sat down. Short and sweet. SCOREBOARD SUCKAS.

After that the Fijians decided to calm things down and sing their national anthem and teach us about their flag. They continued playing music and even brought out some Kava. All of us, except Dad, Uncle George and Lisa, were tired from the long day, so we took the tender back to ship and our comfy beds waiting aboard.

Dad, Lisa and Uncle George stayed on their beach listening to music and drinking with the crew until the last tender carted them off.

Day 1: Car Troubles, Kava and some soccer

We left bright and early for Lautoka, the port where we were to catch our 3 day/night cruise through the Yasawa islands. We all piled into the "limo" with our needed luggage and took off for the 40 minute drive. We drove through the Fijian scenery, past sugar cane fields and little villages. About 15 miles into the trip, our trusty "limo" died. Mid-hill she just shut down. So after a quick pull over we cranked her back up and we were off again. For about 2 miles. She started again but a couple miles later...well you get the picture. The last 20 minutes of our trip were with held breath and all of us praying just to make it to the dock. I guess we figured we'd deal with her when we got back. With tears in our eyes we finally made it to the check in lounge. They welcomed us, assigned our rooms, measured us for snorkel gear and gave us our keys and off we went.


Our boat.

We got on the boat and took our respective rooms and that was when the game of "musical rooms" started. Everyone was switching around, Uncle George ended up on the deck below us, but after all it worked out. We set sail after a few announcements about the upcoming safety drill. While unpacking in our room, Mom and I heard a couple long whistles from the ship's horn. We peaked outside and no one else seemed to be going up so we stayed and finished unpacking. Lo and behold we ran into dad later when a deckhand found us frantic. We had missed the drill. Yep...we were those people. Katlyn told us later that they had called room numbers to see who was missing. Bueller....Bueller...



The boat had 28 cabins. Most of the rooms were located outside on the 3rd deck. The bridge was sunbathing. Below that was the dining area, bar and a lounge, and below that were 2 decks of cabins. The rooms were small but comfortable and the food was pretty bomb. Our lunch that first day was a mix of American food (french fries) and Fijian food (the most delicious beef curry. ever)


in the dining room, the food was delish.

After making friends with the crew and sailing along for about 3 hours we landed in our first port. This was the village of Gumu and we were scheduled to attend a Kava ceremony there. Kava is used by the locals in many different ceremonies. It is a potent drink made of a root and we had read that it made your mouth go numb. I was excited to see the culture, but had prepared myself for a touristy flavor.


leaving the market.

I was pleasantly surprised by the Kava ceremony and the village visit. When we first got ashore, many of the villagers were waiting on the beach to return home from the market. It was an authentic look at what it takes to survive in the Fijian islands. We made our way into the local church where we were briefed about how to carry ourselves during the ceremony and what the local culture is like. We then made our way to the community hall where we asked to be received inside and we were gladly granted access. After being given flower necklaces and removing our shoes we made our way inside. Then the kava ceremony began. The villagers sat on one side of the room while we faced them. The chief then began mixing the root powder and the water into a giant bowl. The villagers all chanted and sang throughout the ceremony. Our elected "chief" then accepted the kava and drank it. Then it was our turn. Those of us who wanted to signal that we would like to try the Kava, clapped and a small bowl was brought over. Dad went first. When the villager approached you clapped once, said "Bula" and then drank the bowl. After finishing you clapped three times with your hands cupped. Dad drank and then it was my turn. The mixture in the bowl appeared like a murky, muddy tea. Me being the stud that I am drank it with no problem. It tasted exactly like it looked: a murky, muddy tea but I got a cigarettey taste to it, like filling an ashtray with water and drinking it (but after consulting with everyone that might have just been me). It did make you tongue feel a little fuzzy but we didn't start hallucinating, like grandma was afraid of. After all of us had our fill of kava (the only 2 not to drink were Grandma and Alyssa) the dancing began. The villagers danced and sang. The music was beautiful with effortless harmonies and songs that didn't need any sort of instruments. They picked people from the crowd to dance with them and of course they read that the Maillos are fun loving people who love to be in front of a crowd (NOT) so of course we were all drug up on stage to dance around. In a last ditch effort to avoid dancing, Dad tried to act like he was taking a picture to no avail. They saw through his crafty ways... After the dance we were invited to visit the local market to look at the handicrafts the villagers made. The candyman reared his head and gave out ring pops to a few of the kids working the stalls.

Making the kava


From Coca to Kava....detox, here we come.

As campy and hoaky as the village visit was, it retained a bit of the villages original culture in the smiles of the villagers faces, the harmonious voices and the laughter shared between them (perhaps at our expense). Standing in front of a crowd of villagers, dancing like fools binds us and brings us together as human beings, regardless of the color of our skin or the language we speak. We hear music, we celebrate and we dance, we laugh when we are embarrassed or when we have fun with our traditions.

this guy walked 45 mins. to dance for us. bangin.

After shopping in the shell market we made our way down to the beach to wait for the tenders back to the boat. The candy man worked his magic and found a few stray ring pops at the bottom of his backpack. The kids loved them, though they had some trouble figuring them out. We helped them open them and showed them how to eat them. While sitting on the beach we noticed a kid climbing a coconut tree about 15 feet high. He climbed it in a matter of seconds and was throwing down coconuts. His mom used a machete to open the coconut and we all drank the sweet young coconut milk inside. The same milk that would cost you $8 at Blue Mango but is a $1 here. We noticed some kids on the beach so we started playing with them. One of them had found a lime and had started a soccer game with Robb. A bunch of us joined in and it turned into all of us running and chasing each other on the beach. I even taught one kid to high five, pound it and "park the car". He got it down no problemo. It is infectious to hang out with these kids. Tattered, used clothes on their backs and no shoes but they haven't a care in the world. The look on their faces when they got the ring pops was priceless. It got me thinking: Is there anything that I get as excited about as those kids got about a simple 10 cent candy? How can we be so hurried, rushed and tired when these kids who have drastically less than us can be totally elated with a ring pop? It just helps to put things in perspective. There were about 800 people per village with 8 villages on the island so basically the entire student body of LMU were the only people living on this massive tropical island, just living off the land.


Impressive, no?

After our impromptu soccer game, we gave our high fives and headed back to the boat. They let us know that they would take us back to the lagoon for a quick little swim. Katlyn and I didn't want to swim but rode along with Dad, Robb, Brandon, Alyssa, Lisa and Uncle George. The took us out to where it was fairly shallow and the swimmers took off. It was shallow enough to stand and it came up to about your waist. Ever the showoff, Jeffrey decided to try and dive back in the water after returning to the boat. Changing his mind midair he proceeded to do, as Brandon called it, a "nut flop". You get the picture. Everyone swam until the boat signaled us it was time to leave. We all changed for the captain's dinner that was to take place that night. We cruised until dinner when we dropped anchor for the night and took our seats in the dining room. It was a delicious meal but all of us struggled to keep our eyes open through the meal. We couldn't wait to get back to our rooms and hit the hay. We threw dinner rolls out the upstairs windows while we ate to attract fish to the boat and we saw schools and schools of them. After dinner we headed to our cabins to rest up before our exciting day at the Blue Lagoon's private island, Nanuya LaiLai.